Most people who call themselves ambitious aren’t chasing their dreams. They’re running away — from mediocrity, from the fear of other people’s judgment, from the terror of being considered irrelevant.
And you know what’s sad? A lot of the people who tell themselves the fairy tale about passion for what they do are actually miserable. For most of their waking hours, they’re doing everything they can to outrun nothing more than a massive, chronic case of FOMO.
Then there’s another kind. The ones who’ve moved past the fear. Who know what they’re worth, what they’re capable of, and — just as importantly — what they should absolutely never touch. So they choose freely which direction to move in, and they listen to other people’s opinions with the same detached curiosity of an entomologist dissecting an ant.
Those people are genuinely dangerous. Have you ever met one? I know a couple.
If what I’m saying is hitting a nerve, don’t get defensive. Just stop for a second and ask yourself: do you actually know what you’re building — and is it really what you want? Or are you just trying to prove something to someone, even if that someone is a ghost from your past?
I’ll go first. Early on, I was terrified of my parents’ judgment. They wanted me to become a doctor — of what, didn’t matter, as long as it came with respect (and I’d add, perhaps in the Fantozzi sense of the word). I disappointed them, no question. But today I think I’ve managed to become who I hoped I’d be: a decent person, professional, unapologetically non-conformist, not one to mince words, and with a fierce desire to exist alongside people who see things the way I do.
I redirected my fear. And now I’m not afraid to speak my mind — especially here, on the most Christian Democrat, most relentlessly respectable social network in existence.
I think it worked because, all things considered, fear can still be useful if you point it in the right direction — as long as you don’t let it eat you alive.
But it’s still fear. And in the long run, defining yourself by what you don’t want to be isn’t enough. At some point you have to actively, deliberately declare to yourself — in the affirmative — who you actually want to be. And then decide to go in that direction, no matter what.
So if this is landing, maybe the question worth sitting with is: if you stopped being afraid, would you still be doing what you’re doing? And if not — what else could you be?